Since we started this process in the fall, Micah and I had always been in agreement about the direction we felt God was leading us: to get our license specifically to 'Foster Adopt'--meaning we would only have children placed in our care who have a long term plan of adoption. Either they would have had biological siblings who had already been adopted by other families, or they were 'legally free' to be adopted. Neither of us ever felt like we were signing up to just do foster care or respite care (very short term care). We never vacillated from this direction, and in fact, proceeded ahead with great confidence that this was the route we were to take.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have really started to grow impatient. Though we didn't even receive our official license until last Wednesday, I have been nearly consumed by the details for several months....who are these kids? Where are they? God-please protect them! When will they be joining us? When, when, WHEN?! I knew that my anticipation was turning to impatience when I decided to "help" God out a bit. Though it wasn't something I did consciously, it played out like this:
Micah and I were driving up to Costco last week when I decided to let him know I was thinking he may not have made the best decision by 'limiting us' to Foster Adopt instead of just general Foster Care (my MISTAKE #1). My rationale was that often times people who are general foster parents (without the intent to adopt) end up with the option to adopt children placed in their care in the long run...."Honey," I said...."Don't you think we might be limiting God by only being willing to Foster Adopt? It is taking SO long! (remember, we hadn't even gotten our license in the mail yet at this point!) Don't you think we maybe should have said that we would be willing to just do foster care so that we would have kids placed with us sooner?!" (MISTAKE #2) At the time, I honestly felt like it would be YEARS before we had a child (or children) placed with us and I was just not willing to wait that long.
Micah, kindly, but with great conviction, looked at me and said, "We are NOT trading Isaac for Ishmael!" I knew exactly what he was saying. In the Old Testament, God had spoken to Abraham that he and his wife Sarah would have a son. Sarah, was well into her 90's at the time and she laughed when she heard that spoken (as I'm sure I would have too)! Instead, Sarah gave her servant Hagar to Abraham to bear a son for her, and that son's name was Ishmael. God LATER fulfilled what He had spoken to both Abraham and Sarah, and they conceived a son whom they named Isaac.
Micah's point was that we didn't need to act like Sarah and help God out by "expanding our options" and "making it easier for Him" to fulfill what He had spoken to us. God does not need our help! In fact, God usually prefers to glorify Himself by surprising us with HIS amazing plan, not our I-think-I-have-it-figured-out plan!
Foster Adopt is easily the least glamorous of ways to expand your family. We anticipate that it will be challenging, emotionally strenuous, and refining. However, we also know that God will carry us through the challenges we face and will strengthen us through the process. I am excited to testify to His faithfulness through this journey!
So here I am, just over a week later, and my patience continues to be stretched. HOWEVER, I trust God, and I trust His timing. I trust Micah as he seeks God in leading our family. We may wait days, or we may wait several more months. But the one thing I know for sure is this: whether it be in the form of a little boy, a little girl, or both--I am DEFINITELY waiting for Isaac.
