*After getting the kids to bed, tidying the house, folding some laundry and then sitting down to snuggle up and watch a movie on the couch, YOU MIGHT JUST be disgusted when you realize your dog has barfed right next to the couch, on the ONLY rug in your house!
*YOU MIGHT JUST be REALLY ticked off, when she does it AGAIN, at the other end of the same rug a few minutes later!
*When driving down the freeway and hearing child #3 yell, "Mommy! Look at my private!" YOU MIGHT JUST spit out the water you were drinking all over your steering wheel and say, "I'm sorry, WHAT did you say, Sweetie?"
*When she repeats herself as children #1 and #2 don't know whether to laugh or be mortified, YOU MIGHT JUST look in the rearview mirror to see child #3 with a wrapper she turned into a PIRATE mask. YOU MIGHT JUST realize that she doesn't actually mean "private," she means "pirate." YOU MIGHT JUST breathe a sigh of relief that for once, your precious children did not discredit your motherly capabilities by shouting these embarrassing comments in public!
*When taking your kids to a place filled with bouncy houses, slides, and tubes to crawl through, YOU MIGHT JUST want to give your prone-to-motion-sickness child some drammamine BEFORE you go. Oh! AND, you might not want to give that kid a double cheeseburger and fries in the parking lot before heading inside.
*If you don't, YOU MIGHT JUST find that other parents and kids will quarantine you upon their discovery that your child is in fact throwing up that cheeseburger and fries all over himself.
*When your witty 8-year-old begs you to play April Fools jokes on him this year, YOU MIGHT JUST do a little internet research to come up with some *creative* and *hilarious* pranks to play on him. And when he wakes up on the morning of April 1st, YOU MIGHT JUST chuckle to yourself at the tricks up your sleeve. However, when sitting at the dinner table that night, YOU MIGHT JUST feel terrible as your 8-year-old sits there sobbing as a result of a joke you played on him. He MIGHT JUST be incredibly disappointed after Mommy told him, "Now sprinkle some salt on top of this plate of pudding and then put your hand over it.....the heat from your hand will turn the pudding into rainbow colors!" And when he looked at Mommy, in awe, and excitedly put his palm over that plate... WHACK! Mommy squished that little hand right into the pudding!
*After patting yourself on the back for the creative April Fool's jokes you played on your kids, YOU MIGHT JUST discover in the weeks following that your children think it's HILARIOUS to play April Fools jokes on you. Can you say "reaaranged dresser drawers and chocolate pudding smeared on the toilet seat?"
*Finally, after cleaning up after the previously mentioned dog that barfed on the carpet, YOU MIGHT JUST think you are still smelling "dog smell" for the rest of the night. You might finish that movie you were watching, fall asleep on the couch, and then wake up a couple hours later to drag yourself to bed. And as your head hits that nice feather pillow, YOU MIGHT JUST somewhat coherently say, "Honey? Call me crazy, but I swear that I still smell dog pee or something!" Your husband MIGHT JUST say he doesn't smell anything, until he puts his head down on his pillow and realizes that THAT STUPID DOG had jumped up on our bed and PEED on BOTH OF OUR PILLOWS! Seriously?! What kind of potty trained dog jumps up on your bed, pees on your pillows, and then acts like everything is normal?
Stay tuned for next week's edition. I'm sure I will have several *wonderful* moments to reflect upon. :)
