Clammin' and a ticket

A month or so ago, we went to Tolmie State park with all 4 of the munchkins. The trip was especially exciting for Caleb who noticed people digging in the sand on the hunt for clams. He tried his hand and dug up a few himself, but we were unsure of the shellfish laws and told Caleb we couldn't keep any because that would be dishonest. It was a tough lesson for him on integrity, but he made the right choice and put them back. We promised him we would take him clamming another time when we knew it was legal. ;) So after doing a little research, we found out that kids under 15 can take up to 40 butter/steamer clams a day from this beach and they do not need a license. A more thorough check on the Department of Health website affirmed that there were no health warnings in effect. SO, off we went to the beach. Caleb toted his little plastic yellow bucket and garden shovel. I CANNOT believe I didn't bring my camera!!! At least I captured some photos of his success: 11 steamer clams that he personally cleaned and steamed in garlic butter. He was SO proud of himself!

Trying the "neck."

Not so sure.....

"Hey Dad! Do you eat this black part?"

Don't they look *delicious?* ;)

Caitlyn trying her share...which she surprisingly loved!

Caleb shared a couple of his clams, but slurped down the rest himself. We just finished dinner about 1/2 hour ago, and he is already asking when we can go again. :)

Speaking of integrity, when we got back to our car we had a ticket on our window for not having a "discovery pass." Oops! We honestly did not know we needed to purchase one and the Park Ranger happened to be near our car when we returned to it. After a brief conversation with Micah, it somehow came up that we were foster parents. The ranger ripped up our ticket, handed it back to Micah and proceeded to thank Micah for our sacrifice as foster parents .

Even though that gesture probably seems like a small thing to most of you, the last few months have included many dark, challenging days with our Ellie and it blessed my heart to just know that someone recognized the challenge and the sacrifice we are making. As I've stated before, our hearts for foster care are not to receive accolades or pats on the back, but once in a while, when I've felt especially discouraged, it seems as though there have been strategic conversations and little words of encouragement that have kept us pressing forward. Today, that encouragement came in the form of clams and a ripped up ticket. <3

A rough day

I know I frequently post photos on facebook of the kids and our "happy moments"--trips to the beach, riding bikes, birthday parties, playtime with friends, etc. We have many happy times that I love to capture with my camera, and I also have a little journal where I write down the crazy (and embarrassing) things the kids say. :) And as much as I like to chronicle the positive things in our lives, like any family--the reality is, there are rough times too.

Yesterday was a hard day. A day that left me worn out. Sad. Hurting for my sweet Caitlyn. Here is what happened:

Caitlyn decided that she wanted to surprise me by making my bed....a challenging task for a teeny tiny like her. She asked me to leave my bedroom while she "worked on something." I stood outside the door for a minute and listened as she talked herself through the steps of making a bed. "Put on the sheet.......ugh! Ow! This is hawd (hard)! Get the blankets! After a minute or so of hearing her wrestle to get the sheets, blankets, duvet, duvet cover (yes it is July but we are still FREEZING!) up off of the floor and onto the bed, I smiled to myself and went downstairs, pleased with my baby girl and her tender heart. Ellie wanted to know what she was doing and went upstairs to help, but Caitlyn asked her to leave because she wanted to "do it by herself." Without much resistance, Ellie went into her bedroom which is next door to ours and I could hear her playing happily.

After about 15 minutes, Caitlyn came downstairs to get me, took me by the hand, and made me close my eyes while she led me upstairs. She was SO tickled to show me her surprise! But unfortunately, the next few minutes did not go as she had planned. After Caitlyn came downstairs to get me, Ellie, who was apparently mad at Caitlyn, went into our bedroom, pulled all of the sheets and blankets off of the bed, threw them onto the floor, and as Caitlyn opened the bedroom door to surprise me, there was Ellie, jumping on the heap of blankets on the floor mocking with the jingle "neener, neener, neener!" Caitlyn burst into tears and Ellie laughed harder. Caitlyn was heartbroken. I was heartbroken for Caitlyn.

I picked Ellie up, put her in her bed, and made her stay there for an hour. I knew that a time out wouldn't work. I knew that taking away a privilege wouldn't work. I knew that making her apologize to Caitlyn wouldn't work. Unfortunately, I wasn't sure what would work. I was at the end of my rope. If this was the first time something like this had happened, I might have had a little more patience. A little more grace. But this is something that happens pretty regularly and it is taxing on this Mama. After putting Ellie in her bed, I went back, picked up Caitlyn, and just held her while she cried. I ran my fingers through her hair and cried along with her. When kids hurt, Mommies hurt too. What Ellie had done was premeditated, and mean.

God has called us to this journey. It is not an easy one. Yes, it is rewarding. Yes, there is peace knowing we are in His will for our lives. But the reality still remains: this is HARD. Some days are harder than others. Some days we see a glimmer of hope and that glimmer is what keeps us pressing forward. We love Elliana dearly and are SO thankful she is going to be a permanent member of our family. But sometimes, when I am laying in bed and all my kids are sleeping, I question the cost. I have moments where I say, "Are you sure I have the patience and grace I need to do this, Lord? Are you sure I am capable? Do you really think I have what it takes to do this?" Thankfully, those moments are frequently followed by a word of encouragement, an applicable Bible verse I stumble upon, or a breakthrough I see in one of our kids.

I feel challenged today. Desperate for Jesus to give me strength and perseverance. Desperate for our little Ellie to know deep in her heart that she is unconditionally loved and that we will never abandon her or treat her any different than our other kids. We want her to feel safe. Secure. Cherished. Adored. Precious.

If you think of us, would you pray for us? We would continue to appreciate your prayers for strength, wisdom, and guidance as we try to fumble our way through this journey. God has been so gracious to entrust His us with these precious children and we can use all the wisdom we can get as we try to raise them for His glory. Thank you! <3

4th of July Celebration!

We had a jam-packed, super-fun, hot, wild, day! Micah started off by participating in the "SWAT challenge" at our local park. He placed 2nd for his age group! :) Meanwhile, the kids and I took ooey, gooey cinnamon rolls over to Woggie and Pop Pop's house for breakfast. We then spent time playing on the slip and slide, BBQing burgers and hot dogs, eating popsicles, and laying in the hammock! After lunch we headed downtown for the 4th of July parade where the kids loaded up their bags with all sorts of confectionary treats! After the parade, we headed up to some friends' house for yet another BBQ. We ended the night by watching fireworks with our friends, then stopping on the side of the road on the way home to watch the fireworks at the fairgrounds! :) A long, but fun day!

Elliana Joy

Here is a photo of our little Ellie when we first got her (March 2010). When I look back at the photos I have of her from the first few months she was with us, most of them look like this--flat, void of emotion, indifferent. It is honestly hard to look at them sometimes as it is a glaring reminder to me of all that had transpired in her little life in the months leading up to her arrival with us. However! God has done an amazing work in her and in all of us and we have some exciting news to share! From the day we got Ellie, we said we would adopt her if that ever became an option. We attended every meeting at DSHS we could, were present at every court hearing regarding her, and have known for quite sometime that adoption was "likely." In court last July, the judge changed Ellie's "permanent plan" to adoption, but we also knew that we had to let the case run it's course and that there were no guarantees. We had court again just last Thursday and although we were confident the judge would not be returning Ellie to either biological parent, a little "snag" knocked our case back a bit and we were discouraged that it would still be many months before she was legally free (officially 'available' for adoption) and another year or more after that before our adoption was finalized.

Then, in nothing short of a MIRACLE, we were informed that she is legally free, um, NOW!!! I cannot even begin to express how overjoyed we feel! Both parents have relinquished their legal rights and Ellie will be part of our "forever family" just as soon as we can have our adoption homestudy completed! We are seriously so baffled that this happened so quick! It is definitely NOT what we had expected!

I love how God works. I love that He knows the desires of our hearts. I love that He knew the timeline all along, and chose to bless us and surprise us by expediting the process. I love that our little Ellie is growing, thriving, showing empathy, smiling, learning to obey, fun, energetic, full of life, and becoming teachable.

(Ellie-Spring 2011)

We love you SO MUCH, Elliana Joy. We are thrilled to be your family. You have already taught us so much about love, grace, and redemption and we are honored and humbled to be your Mommy and Daddy.

Playing Catch Up!

Sorry for the delay in blog posts, friends, but this Mama has been busy. Like really busy. Like end-of-the-school-year-with-one-homeschooler-and-one-public-school-preschooler-and-one-Christian-School-Kindergartener-busy. Oh yeah! And busy with this adorable little guy.....

Isn't he a cutie? He'll be hangin' with us for a while. We're happy to love on him while we can.

Let me just say, for the record, that having 4 kids is a real hoot! Micah and Caleb just got home this evening from an overnight fishing trip and I had just the "big girls" and the baby....I told my mom I couldn't believe how easy 3 kids felt! And Caleb (the one who was gone) is even my biggest helper! It is amazing how much your parenting "muscles" grow as each child is added.

In other news, our Caitlyn turned SIX years old last month. How in the world did that happen? I am pretty sure that I was JUST snuggling with my sweet baby girl in the rocking chair before laying her down in her crib for the night. Wasn't I? She wanted "rainbow" cupcakes for her birthday party at school so I made these for her. Since I am FAR from "Suzy Homemaker, I have to say I was pretty impressed with how these turned out! ;)

Unfortunately, Caitlyn woke up on her birthday with Strep for the 3rd (or was it the 4th?) time in 10 weeks, so she didn't get to have a birthday party at school that day. She did, however, get a birthday doughnut for breakfast.

Yes, those are Christmas jammies, and yes, this was in May. But it was the kid's birthday and I wasn't going to argue with her over footed jammies. Plus, she was so kind and gracious to share with the rest of the family on HER birthday. That's right--she gave the other 3 kids and Mommy her Strep Throat! Wasn't that nice of her to share?! Our counter then looked like this....

I think we're outta' the woods now. These drugs kicked Strep to the curb and after repeated toothbrush changes, investing in stock for Clorox wipes and a junk drawer full of hand sanitizer, I am confident our house is germ free (at least for now)!

OK, one more photo. Aren't these 4 precious? This is such a classic photo of Ellie. :)

This weeks edition of "YOU MIGHT JUST"

Well, here you have it, folks. Due to popular demand, another edition of "you might just....."

*After getting the kids to bed, tidying the house, folding some laundry and then sitting down to snuggle up and watch a movie on the couch, YOU MIGHT JUST be disgusted when you realize your dog has barfed right next to the couch, on the ONLY rug in your house!

*YOU MIGHT JUST be REALLY ticked off, when she does it AGAIN, at the other end of the same rug a few minutes later!

*When driving down the freeway and hearing child #3 yell, "Mommy! Look at my private!" YOU MIGHT JUST spit out the water you were drinking all over your steering wheel and say, "I'm sorry, WHAT did you say, Sweetie?"

*When she repeats herself as children #1 and #2 don't know whether to laugh or be mortified, YOU MIGHT JUST look in the rearview mirror to see child #3 with a wrapper she turned into a PIRATE mask. YOU MIGHT JUST realize that she doesn't actually mean "private," she means "pirate." YOU MIGHT JUST breathe a sigh of relief that for once, your precious children did not discredit your motherly capabilities by shouting these embarrassing comments in public!

*When taking your kids to a place filled with bouncy houses, slides, and tubes to crawl through, YOU MIGHT JUST want to give your prone-to-motion-sickness child some drammamine BEFORE you go. Oh! AND, you might not want to give that kid a double cheeseburger and fries in the parking lot before heading inside.

*If you don't, YOU MIGHT JUST find that other parents and kids will quarantine you upon their discovery that your child is in fact throwing up that cheeseburger and fries all over himself.

*When your witty 8-year-old begs you to play April Fools jokes on him this year, YOU MIGHT JUST do a little internet research to come up with some *creative* and *hilarious* pranks to play on him. And when he wakes up on the morning of April 1st, YOU MIGHT JUST chuckle to yourself at the tricks up your sleeve. However, when sitting at the dinner table that night, YOU MIGHT JUST feel terrible as your 8-year-old sits there sobbing as a result of a joke you played on him. He MIGHT JUST be incredibly disappointed after Mommy told him, "Now sprinkle some salt on top of this plate of pudding and then put your hand over it.....the heat from your hand will turn the pudding into rainbow colors!" And when he looked at Mommy, in awe, and excitedly put his palm over that plate... WHACK! Mommy squished that little hand right into the pudding!

*After patting yourself on the back for the creative April Fool's jokes you played on your kids, YOU MIGHT JUST discover in the weeks following that your children think it's HILARIOUS to play April Fools jokes on you. Can you say "reaaranged dresser drawers and chocolate pudding smeared on the toilet seat?"

*Finally, after cleaning up after the previously mentioned dog that barfed on the carpet, YOU MIGHT JUST think you are still smelling "dog smell" for the rest of the night. You might finish that movie you were watching, fall asleep on the couch, and then wake up a couple hours later to drag yourself to bed. And as your head hits that nice feather pillow, YOU MIGHT JUST somewhat coherently say, "Honey? Call me crazy, but I swear that I still smell dog pee or something!" Your husband MIGHT JUST say he doesn't smell anything, until he puts his head down on his pillow and realizes that THAT STUPID DOG had jumped up on our bed and PEED on BOTH OF OUR PILLOWS! Seriously?! What kind of potty trained dog jumps up on your bed, pees on your pillows, and then acts like everything is normal?

Stay tuned for next week's edition. I'm sure I will have several *wonderful* moments to reflect upon. :)

"You might just......."

The month of March has been quite entertaining. Here's a little peek into some of our daily "happenings."

*When going to the pet store to buy your 8-year-old a new fish, YOU MIGHT JUST want to buy the cheap ones instead of spending 6.99 for one that dies 1 day after the expiration of the 'fish death' return policy. OH! And if you DO decide to buy an expensive one, YOU MIGHT JUST want to buy one, instead of 3 at once.....

*When having a friend's 2-year-old over, YOU MIGHT JUST want to make sure that that sweet lil' one isn't upstairs trying to feed those expensive fish---by dumping out the entire Costco-sized fish food all over the fishtank and floor....

*When your sweet husband can't find his cell phone and blames you for losing it, YOU MIGHT JUST chuckle to yourself the next day when that same sweet husband finds it in your water-filled crockpot in the sink...and realizes that when he set his phone to vibrate mode, it vibrated off of the windowsill he left it on and right into your crockpot!

*When you realize that your husband now has to pay to replace that darn cellphone, YOU MIGHT JUST stop laughing.

*When out to dinner at Red Robin and your delightful 3-year-old turns around and says "THAT LADY LOOKS MAD" in the ear of "mad lady" in the booth behind you, YOU MIGHT JUST ask for your food "to go." We didn't.

*When taking all of your children to the Dr. and the aforementioned 3-year-old looks at the Dr. and says, "you look weird! You don't have any hair!" YOU MIGHT JUST be thankful that you've known this kind, Grandpa of a Dr. for years. However, YOU MIGHT JUST want to crawl into a hole and hide anyways.

*When your kids are in a church musical, YOU MIGHT JUST think they are the most adorable, talented, children EVER.....even if they played the part of "rocks."

*When trying to interpret the growing language of your 3-year-old, YOU MIGHT JUST want to discover sooner-than-later that "itty booty" in fact, means, icky boogie...on her finger....and then YOU MIGHT JUST want to search your house from top to bottom with lysol wipes in hand to locate all the places she has decided to leave those "itty booties."

*When getting a new foster baby, YOU MIGHT JUST be reminded once again that children are a precious gift from God, and each day you have with ANY of your children, biological or not, is a gift. YOU MIGHT JUST find yourself amazed at the sanctity of life and the miracle that each child is. :)

*When your children ask to eat breakfast on the floor, in bowls, like the dogs, YOU MIGHT JUST let them-- thinking the novelty will wear off really quick. However, YOU MIGHT JUST learn that they think eating like that is REALLY COOL and then have to retrain them to eat at the table. YOU MIGHT JUST find yourself feeling really embarrassed that your kids, in fact, LIKE to eat like dogs, for some odd reason.....

*OH! And finally, when your daughter gets strep throat for the second time in 6 weeks, YOU MIGHT JUST want to throw her toothbrush away so she stops reinfecting herself!! Then YOU MIGHT JUST feel incredible stupid when your nurse says, "We told you that!"