Back to "Normal"

I realized a few days ago that it has been quite a while since I posted a "baby" update on our blog. 6 months ago today, we picked up the precious baby from the hospital that would forever hold a place in our hearts. Though we didn't know what the future would hold, we poured everything we had into this sweet baby boy: we loved him, bonded with him, and treated him as though he was our own. If you've followed our blog, you know how the story goes....Baby went to live with another foster family along with his siblings, and our hearts were hurting. But! I am SO, SO, SO thankful to say that God truly has healed our hearts, given us perspective, and carried us through. Though it is not something I believe we will ever "get over," we have "gotten through" it and have reached a place where we are just incredibly blessed for the 3 months we were able to provide Baby with a loving, nurturing home.

The foster Mom who has Baby has been so kind, compassionate, and gracious--even sending us photos of him and letting us say "hi" when we run into her at different places. :) This mom knows first hand what it is like to lose a foster child, and I believe that God knew that her compassion towards me would be instrumental in my healing process. It is nice to be able to see Baby once in a while and know that it doesn't sting anymore like it did at first.

We have moved through all of the stages of the grief cycle and have finally come to acceptance. :) Friends, this is truly a work of God--the devastation I felt in those first few weeks was intense, and most nights I felt like I would be heartbroken forever. It was helpful to just let the emotions come and go, and not try to suppress my grief. Poor Micah- one minute we would be sitting there laughing about something silly one of our big kids said, and in the next minute, I would be sobbing hysterically! I'm sure he thought I was nuts! ;)

We decided not to take any new foster kids through the holidays, and to just enjoy a time of rest with our little family. We had such a blessed Christmas season--full of joy, peace, and celebration! We also had court during the last week of December for our "Little Miss." Thankfully, the judge ruled for the permanent plan to remain adoption. We are one step closer to making her a permanent member of our family! Also, we are pleased to announce the name we are going to call her: Eliana (pronounced Ellie-on-uh). I know I can't post what her current "real" name is, but trust me: it does NOT go with our last name. It sounds, well.....how do I say this tastefully......cheap? We have already been calling her a combination of Ellie and her current name so it isn't an abrupt switch.

Eliana means "God has answered." And God HAS answered. He knew our desire for more children. He knew how much our big kids wanted younger siblings. He answered our prayers-- with little Eliana.

We are looking forward to 2011, and are curious who will be joining our family this year! Whether it be for a few days, or forever, I am more confident now than I ever was before that God decides who he places in our care, and for how long. We consider it an honor to be able to play ANY part in the lives of the children He entrusts us with.

Our lives are feeling "normal" at the moment. Our days have routine, and the chaos has settled. I hesitate to type that, though, because I just know that the minute I click "publish" on this blog post, "normal" is going to go flying out the window! Haha! Doesn't it usually work that way? We will probably get a phone call in the middle of the night for triplets or something. :) Oh well, if God asks us to do it, I'm sure we can handle it! On that note, goodnight!