"N" week

Caitlyn with her "nurse" outfit and cast.

Last week was "N" week at Caitlyn's school. They had a wonderful time....making noodles (with butter and cheese), making noodle necklaces, looking at nests, talking about Noah's ark, numbers, and then Friday was "Nurse Day!" Caitlyn's teacher and I filled the role as nurses as we taught the kids how to use a stethescope, take out stitches, put on casts, and they even got to give oranges real injections! Caitlyn thinks these theme days are SO cool.....during "O" week they had "octopus day" and they examined a real octopus as well as making their own octopus (shaped) pretzels.....during "F" week one day they fixed french toast and fresh fruit....and next week for "P" week they get to make pancakes and their own pillowcases! Anyways, it's lots of fun. So Caitlyn's quick little mind is always coming up with fun ideas for theme days at school. SO, last week, on our way to "nurse day," she excitedly said, "I know! Wouldn't it be weird if we had NAKED day at school?! That would be SO WEIRD! I mean, I wouldn't want to see people naked at school for "N" week!" Um, okay sweetie, I'll be sure NOT to suggest that one to your teacher...

In case you didn't know....

....Superman lives at our house!

Out of the mouths of babes

Caitlyn's little Kindergarten class at the Christian School is having a "teddy bear picnic" on Friday. This is "B" week at school, so the kids were instructed to bring their favorite BEAR from home for the picnic. BUT, first they were given a name tag to bring home, color, fill out, attach to their bear, and return tomorrow. I was working in Caitlyn's class today as the instructions were relayed. Caitlyn was SO excited to finish dinner this evening so that she could get straight to work on her bear's name tag! Micah was doing the dishes (I LOVE my husband, by the way), I was sitting on the couch with a blanket over my head (no really, I was) trying to ignore the fact that our house is a total disaster right now, and the kids got to work on their name tags. (When I work in her class, I bring the other kids with me, and Caitlyn's teacher is GREAT and sent home name tags for our other kids' bears too!) Anyways, I heard Caitlyn shout, "I'M FINISHED!" as she ran into the kitchen to show Daddy her completed tag. I heard Micah laughing hysterically as Caitlyn quickly ran in to show me her completed masterpiece. THIS, my friends, is what I saw:

Yes, you are reading that correctly. It

does, in fact, say "BIG BEER."

I imagine myself escorting Caitlyn into her class tomorrow at the CHRISTIAN SCHOOL and saying, "No really, Mrs. Johnson. I have no idea why Caitlyn would name her adorable, 70's looking tie-dye 'peace bear' BIG BEER. I'm sure what she meant to say was BIG BEAR, she just spelled it BIG BEER."

Letting Go

The first couple of weeks in February were rough here in the Rose household. Micah got sick, then a week later Ellie and I got sick, then a week later Caitlyn got sick, and Ellie got sick again. We all were unfortunate victims of a persistent tummy virus. Fortunately, most of us made a quick recovery and were back to our chipper selves. Caitlyn, however, was not so lucky. Tuesday night, February 8th, we had a normal dinner and then put the kids to bed. Around 9 or 10:00 I heard a loud noise that I couldn't decipher. "Micah--what is THAT?!" Well, it was Caitlyn throwing up. She was not incredibly concerned with making it to the bathroom and made *quite* the mess. Sorry for those of you who are visual learners. ;) Our poor baby continued to be sick all night long, and by Wednesday morning, she literally could not stop dry heaving and we made the trek into Northwest Peds. Caitlyn spent most of the day Wednesday hooked up to IVs to replenish her fluids, and they sent us home, assuming she would wake up fine the next day. Unfortunately she did not wake up fine. We returned to NW Peds and spent 11+ hours there again, with Caitlyn hooked up to IV's for fluids and antibiotics. Unfortunately, when we got there, her tiny veins were incredibly flat and 4 different Doctors and nurses tried repeatedly to get IV's in her. After 2 1/2 hours of trying, a wonderful nurse named Brenda came in and got it on the FIRST TRY. Dr. Polley was literally standing outside our door interceding that Brenda would get it in on her first try. How many people can say THAT of their Pediatrician?! :) Anywhoo, they unhooked her IV around 8:30 Thursday night, sent me home with instructions to flush her IV site overnight, and to give her round-the-clock anti-nausea meds to prevent her from vomiting anymore. We had an appointment for 9:00 Friday morning when we were praying Caitlyn would be well and all they would have to do would be remove her IV. Again, unfortunately, Caitlyn was not well. In fact, her health was deteriorating quickly. Her blood sugar dropped into the low 40s, she was completely lethargic and just plain "out of it." Her electrolytes were completely off and the fluids were just not pumping into her fast enough. Late Friday morning, the nurse practitioner came in and informed us that they needed to admit Caitlyn to St. Peters in Olympia where they had a special pediatric unit. Caitlyn had only peed twice in 48 hours, despite all the fluids going into her, and her illness was now outside their abilities to help her in the office. We put Caitlyn in the car and beelined for Olympia. Caitlyn was so, so listless and groggy. I had to hold her head up against her carseat in the back, and several times I patted her cheeks to make sure she was breathing. I was scared. Like REALLY scared.

Just a few days before this incident I had finished reading a book by Mary Beth Chapman called "Choosing to See." For those of you unfamiliar with who she is, Mary Beth is married to the Christian artist Stephen Curtis Chapman. 2 1/2 years ago, their 18-year-old son ran over their 4 year old daughter in their driveway by accident and killed her. Mary Beth's book was about her journey, her struggle, and ultimately, her surrender to God regarding the lives of her children.

So this Friday morning as we were driving to Olympia, a wave of fear overcame me as I started wondering if "God knew I needed to read that book." I was SCREAMING in my mind at God, BEGGING Him out loud to save our daughter, and WHISPERING in Caitlyn's ear that I loved her so much, and that Mommy and Daddy needed her to be strong and to fight.

I then turned my prayers back to God as I pleaded with him to please, please, not have let me read that book in preparation for losing our baby girl. I couldn't go there.

They were waiting for us when we got to the hospital in Olympia and they got her IV started right away. They also took a bunch of blood to run for testing to make sure there wasn't something else occurring in her body that had gone undiagnosed. The good news was, there wasn't anything else going on other than a serious case of dehydration and an electrolyte imbalance. That bad news was, the Doctor came in and told us that this was the worst case of dehydration she had seen and that Caitlyn was actually a lot sicker than they thought when we first brought her in. Um, thanks a lot Doc....that is JUST the right thing to say to a mom who is already clearly shaken up. We called and texted everyone we knew of to pray. We plastered it on Facebook. We called the church and had her put on the prayer chain. Friends and relatives all over the country were praying. Hard. And we felt it. Right around dinner time Friday night Caitlyn faintly whispered, "I'm hungry. I want a piece of toast." So toast, it was. She ate it slowly, but managed to keep it down and the fluids/anti nausea meds/antibiotics were beginning to do their job. It was amazing to LITERALLY FEEL prayers. To know that so many of you were interceding on our behalf, and joining with our pleas. Thank you. Your prayers were answered. Our prayers were answered. Caitlyn made quick progress and by Saturday afternoon, she was well enough to come home. I couldn't believe it! 24 hours before I was scared to death for her life, and here we were taking our baby girl home! And she was talking! And smiling! What an amazing God we serve!

I want to take just a minute to relay what I am continuing to learn. If I could have predicted my response to a situation like this, I would have thought my knee-jerk reaction would have been to hold on to my kids tighter and to swoon with guilt over all of my shortcomings. But ironically, the very opposite happened. You do not realize how little control you have over your life until it's fragileness is STARING YOU IN THE FACE. You do not realize how desperate and dependent on God you need to be until your circumstances leave you with no other option. God IS sovereign. He IS in control, whether we "give" Him that control or not. He calls the shots. He knows what's best for us. He's got our back.

I am realizing more and more, that the tighter I hold onto my kids, my husband, and my life, the more opportunities God is giving me to let go of those very things I cling to. :) Remember, He is faithful to complete the work He started and if you ask Him to stretch you, He will! I apparently need much more growth as I have had numerous opportunities to surrender to His will in this last year especially and I still have fear every time! You would think that any one of the situations we have faced would leave me in a place of total surrender, but I am clearly a work in progress and have continued to face opportunities requiring faith. My prayer has been one of declaring my trust in God over the lives of my children, and to let go. To really let go. It is easy to say "my kids are the Lord's" but the reality of that is a difficult act of obedience. I HAVE to remember that God gave them to us in the first place! Children are a blessing from the Lord, and each day we have with them is a privilege, not a right.

Finally, here are some photos from our time at NW Peds and at the hospital. Sorry for the poor photo quality, as some of them were taken from my Ipod. :)

at the hospital, not so chipper. :(

Day #3 at NW Peds

Day #2 at NW Peds

First food in 4 days!

Finally going home! Smiling! :)

Ode to my kids

I try. No really, I do. I try to teach my children manners. I try to teach them to put others first, to say "may I be excused," to be polite, and to be honest. Unfortunately, the children have learned the "being honest"part more than they have learned the "being polite" part.....and this makes for frequent embarrassing situations.

Several months ago I was in Michaels craft store with Caitlyn. A heavier set woman rounded the corner into our aisle and could not squeeze by my cart to get to the other end of the aisle. She turned around and Caitlyn said, "Mommy? Why do some peoples bunses (think buns, plural) shake real bad when they walk?" I think my cheeks are STILL a nice shade of pink from that incident.

When we got home that night, I took some time to make that situation what we like to call a "teaching moment." I would like to say that "teaching moments" are something that are effective in our household. However, as I'm sure you will discover by the end of this blog post, my authority on the issue is obviously sub-par. ;)

As part of the "teaching moment" with Caitlyn, we talked about how it isn't polite to talk about people's "bunses" and that if that lady had heard her, her feelings might have been really hurt. We went on to discuss how it is wonderful to encourage people and I gave the kids the opportunity to encourage each other with things that are "true" and "nice." I thought it was a done deal.

Well, the next day I was in Safeway with the previously mentioned child, and when we got to the checkout lane she took one look at the checker and said, "big.......teeth....." The checker smiled and said, "What was that, Sweetie?" Caitlyn replied, "I said I like your nice big teeth!"

Had I not had THREE other children with me at the time, I probably would have zipped up my hood over my face, grabbed her, and bolted for the door. I had nothing to say.

Then there's Caleb. Smart, witty, naive, Caleb. The kid loves humor: Sunday comics, joke books, riddles, and knock-knock jokes. Along with having a school-aged boy apparently comes a fascination with what we call "potty talk." No, Caleb, not every joke has to be about "tooting" or "pooping" or silly noises you make with your hand in your armpit (thank you Daddy for teaching him that one). Anywhoo, we have made it a point to say that "potty talk belongs in the bathroom," and that's where it needs to stay. ("Potty talk" previously resulted in Caleb experiencing the memorable taste of Irish Spring.) ;)

So this morning, Caleb was taking a bath and he was reciting all sorts of *hilarious* jokes to me from memory as I was putting on my makeup. After a few minutes of my courtesy laughing he said to me, "Mommy? Why don't you ever get joke books from the library?" I replied, "Well, Caleb -you tell so many funny jokes that I don't really need to read them for myself. And besides, most joke books they make for Mommies and Daddies are unfortunately not very appropriate. They have a lot of "potty talk" in them. His eyes got really big and I could see his wheels turning. He paused and then said, "Oh! Like what did one wiener say to the other wiener?"

I'll just stop now. And yes, I have a book where I write these things down.

Happy Birthday!

Happy, happy birthday to our sensitive, kind, smart, witty, creative minded Caleb! Mommy and Daddy love you so much and are so proud of the little boy you are!

Back to "Normal"

I realized a few days ago that it has been quite a while since I posted a "baby" update on our blog. 6 months ago today, we picked up the precious baby from the hospital that would forever hold a place in our hearts. Though we didn't know what the future would hold, we poured everything we had into this sweet baby boy: we loved him, bonded with him, and treated him as though he was our own. If you've followed our blog, you know how the story goes....Baby went to live with another foster family along with his siblings, and our hearts were hurting. But! I am SO, SO, SO thankful to say that God truly has healed our hearts, given us perspective, and carried us through. Though it is not something I believe we will ever "get over," we have "gotten through" it and have reached a place where we are just incredibly blessed for the 3 months we were able to provide Baby with a loving, nurturing home.

The foster Mom who has Baby has been so kind, compassionate, and gracious--even sending us photos of him and letting us say "hi" when we run into her at different places. :) This mom knows first hand what it is like to lose a foster child, and I believe that God knew that her compassion towards me would be instrumental in my healing process. It is nice to be able to see Baby once in a while and know that it doesn't sting anymore like it did at first.

We have moved through all of the stages of the grief cycle and have finally come to acceptance. :) Friends, this is truly a work of God--the devastation I felt in those first few weeks was intense, and most nights I felt like I would be heartbroken forever. It was helpful to just let the emotions come and go, and not try to suppress my grief. Poor Micah- one minute we would be sitting there laughing about something silly one of our big kids said, and in the next minute, I would be sobbing hysterically! I'm sure he thought I was nuts! ;)

We decided not to take any new foster kids through the holidays, and to just enjoy a time of rest with our little family. We had such a blessed Christmas season--full of joy, peace, and celebration! We also had court during the last week of December for our "Little Miss." Thankfully, the judge ruled for the permanent plan to remain adoption. We are one step closer to making her a permanent member of our family! Also, we are pleased to announce the name we are going to call her: Eliana (pronounced Ellie-on-uh). I know I can't post what her current "real" name is, but trust me: it does NOT go with our last name. It sounds, well.....how do I say this tastefully......cheap? We have already been calling her a combination of Ellie and her current name so it isn't an abrupt switch.

Eliana means "God has answered." And God HAS answered. He knew our desire for more children. He knew how much our big kids wanted younger siblings. He answered our prayers-- with little Eliana.

We are looking forward to 2011, and are curious who will be joining our family this year! Whether it be for a few days, or forever, I am more confident now than I ever was before that God decides who he places in our care, and for how long. We consider it an honor to be able to play ANY part in the lives of the children He entrusts us with.

Our lives are feeling "normal" at the moment. Our days have routine, and the chaos has settled. I hesitate to type that, though, because I just know that the minute I click "publish" on this blog post, "normal" is going to go flying out the window! Haha! Doesn't it usually work that way? We will probably get a phone call in the middle of the night for triplets or something. :) Oh well, if God asks us to do it, I'm sure we can handle it! On that note, goodnight!